If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you might have experience with being called “obsessive.” What loved ones may not realize though, is that for someone with BPD, the core issue is usually not about the object of the obsession — it’s often the result of underlying symptoms of BPD.
Mighty contributor Catherine Renton wrote about how her own “obsessive” tendencies come from her impulsive behavior and unstable relationships. In her piece, “The ‘Obsessive’ Way I Fall in Love as Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder,” she wrote,
I am obsessive in love — falling quickly, deeply and I always put my partner’s needs before my own… Once I become attached to someone, I get drunk on lust as dopamine floods my body. I’ve fallen in love so many times, it’s like an addiction. I crave the affection and touch of another human so much I have overlooked some questionable personality traits just so I don’t end up alone.
Love isn’t the main spot where fanatical way of behaving can appear for an individual with BPD. We needed to know by what other means it can influence individuals’ lives, so we asked our Powerful BPD people group to share something they do that others see as “over the top.”
Assuming you’re battling with being “fanatical,” we maintain that you should know you’re in good company. The following are a couple of pieces you might track down supportive in your own recuperation.
Here’s what our community shared with us:
- “In the event that I have a trip with somebody or I feel like somebody is keeping away from me, I fixate on considerations. I will go through hours simply replaying discussions, activities, all that I might potentially recall that has at any point occurred with that individual. I attempt to sort out how I screwed up or what veered off-track, as a rule in order to fix things.” — Megan G.
2. “I become very fixated on Network programs/characters. I begin observing heaps of episodes, perusing all sort of fan fiction and checking out at fan craftsmanship. I read hypotheses — anything that will cause me to feel nearer to that show/individual. At the point when it gets downright terrible, I begin taking on character qualities. Nothing at any point fills the need I have however and in the end I self-destruct.” — Sierra N.
3. “Saying ‘sorry’ — even it’s not my issue, regardless of whether it’s a minor thing. I will hear ‘For what reason are you saying ‘sorry’ a few times each day. My colleagues are utilized to it. Truly, this is on the grounds that growing up, my dad was actually and obnoxiously oppressive. I figured out how to apologize early and frequently. I do it to stop any conceivable showdown since I can’t take being faced or chastised. What’s more, I for the most part peer down while I make it happen and I disdain it however have been not able to end the propensity.” — Keith G.
4.”In the event that I think somebody is frantic or vexed (especially my significant other) I fanatically ask what’s up. Assuming I sense anything is off, I in a real sense will over and over ask what’s going on and how I can improve it. He ends up lashing out frequently, saying he wasn’t distraught before I asked/blamed him for being frantic multiple times.” — Jennifer H.
5.”I likewise fixate on one individual in my life which is my accomplice. It’s like he is my entire whole world, which I know is undesirable, yet I have zero control over it! It resembles no other person’s perspectives matter. It’s like I can’t coexist with any other person as I do with him. He is my beginning and end and I realize that appears to be being penniless when it’s simply my problem… and I’m horribly envious of any other person he concentrates on.” — Tanya M.
6.”If I have any desire to purchase something (typically costly) I will go through days, weeks, now and again months exploring every little thing about it. I’ll find each survey I can, find as numerous sites that offer it, make calculation sheets to think about costs. I can’t quit contemplating it either.” — Jenna M
7.”When I feel a tickle of fascination for somebody, I begin fixating once again all of my uncertainties. I dissect everything, I can’t eat or rest, I fundamentally become infatuated and can’t work without them, until unavoidably I get exhausted and begin sincerely disassociating and switch among affection and disdain for some time until one day love simply doesn’t turn back on. (One reason I stay single now, it ain’t worth the turmoil.)” — Angie R.
8.”I have BPD and OCD. My fixations generally introduce themselves in a similar structure: I take a point I made or did before (late or quite a while in the past) and hush up about playing it to attempt to know how I veered off-track. I once endured two entire years fixating and going over around a 30 minutes occasion. It broke me.” — Stephany L.
9.”I’m time-fixated, I need to take off from my home inside a brief time span in the first part of the day. I get to work close to 60 minutes before I get started to guarantee I’m consistently on time. I have mental episodes in the event that I get to early no kind of arrangement 15 minutes. I have somewhat of an issue with compulsiveness, which can now and then make my occupation troublesome. I need to do specific things in an exact request and I have an impulse to contact specific things when I stroll past them.” — Amy S.
10.”I fixate on which side of my character is the ‘genuine me.’ When I can be two definitely various renditions of myself, a few times each day understanding the genuine me can be debilitating difficult. Presently chipping away at a ‘ill defined situation’ with individuals, as opposed to keeping track of who’s winning of which side of my highly contrasting character they are on. I might want to coordinate my laidback self with my immediately maddened self and track down a medium despite the fact that it’s generally expected awkward being careful, present and cognizant to do as such.” — Alesha T.
11.”I have stages, similar to a making stage, once I got running in the mornings, clearly gorging Netflix, perusing a lot of those ‘self improvement’ guides, journaling, baking… they just keep going for seven days perhaps two tops yet in that time, that is all I do in my spare energy.” — Maddie V.
12.”At the point when I’m doing an art project, perusing a book or am on a cleaning kick, all the other things appears to get dismissed and I can appear to zero in on the a certain something. At the point when I was working, I couldn’t ensure I was eating and resting and the best anyone could hope for at that point was to ensure I was working on time, looking satisfactory and seeming quiet and in charge.” — Paula M.
13.”Almost certain all that I do is over the top. Everything is win big or bust with me.” — Bridget O.
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